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Single Gentleman's Guide

Code of Conduct

Any single male, husband or boyfriend who violates these guidelines, particularly making any UNINVITED sexual advances, (ex., touching, caressing, kissing, exposing yourself, etc.) to any woman at The Private Affairs events will be asked to leave the event immediately and membership may be revoked.

Don't ignore the husband, no matter how much his wife or girlfriend likes you, because if the husband doesn't like you, you're not getting anywhere with her. This doesn't mean you need to spend all night talking with him, but introduce yourself, be cordial and play it by ear.

If someone tells you "NO", that's all there is to it. It's not open for discussion! Don't ask them, "why not?', or "are you sure, I'm the greatest lover in the world?" They are not interested in you joining them no matter what your line is.

All in all, it's real simple; be a gentleman, be friendly, and treat people well. Everyone will have a much better evening if the ladies have a good time, and if they do then you have a chance of being included in the fun with them.


A true gentleman and a classy guy in the swinging lifestyle is non-threatening to the male spouse's virility. He's happy to be sharing in the encounter and doesn't try to monopolize it. He knows his place in and out of the bedroom. He is also a friend to both spouses. Should be slightly closer to the male, don't want to be perceived as cutting into his role.

In A Nutshell ….Be a Classy Guy!

  • Always be polite
  • Never assume
  • Ask permission before touching
  • "NO means NO!" Accept it gracefully. No is accepted by either her or her husband. No one pleases everybody. Never think you know more about what she wants then she does. Remember No is not open for negotiation … if you are told more the twice from the same couple you will be asked to leave.
  • If you're unsure about proper procedures or what's allowed, ask!
  • Most people in the club have a partner; include them in your conversation when appropriate.
  • Mind your manners. Be on your very best behavior.
  • Pay attention to nonverbal signals, both positive and negative. Body Language speaks much louder than words. Act accordingly!
  • When talking to others in the club that you are interested in, make sure you understand their personal rules and boundaries. Everyone is different.
  • Admission to the club DOES NOT guarantee that you will have sex, but only that you will be admitted to the club. No one owes you anything and you shouldn't expect anything from anyone.
  • If you have a problem with someone …Please tell security/management, if you don't see them go to the bar and let the bartenders know, they will get someone asap and we will handle all problems, not you. Never create or contribute to a 'scene'!
  • If you're NEW and have additional questions about the club or lifestyle, ask to speak to regular member couples. They will be happy to answer any questions you might have.

General Info for single or married men coming in alone. Probably upwards of 95% of males without a partner looking to hook up with swingers are doomed to failure! If you are single and do get invited by a couple, consider yourself among the lucky ones.


  • Have common sense
  • Behave, follow the rules
  • Talk to male half of couple first
  • Never be pushy
  • Never ask the female half to meet you alone
  • Don't lurk around the corners
  • Be friendly not creepy
  • Be honest (no fish stories here) meaning don't make claims you can't back up
  • Never assume anything


Forget about it …not going to happen and if it does it won't last for long. Swinging isn't for you, but of course you know better right? OK, let me explain it to you. Swinging is a free and open lifestyle based on honesty and guilt-free relationships. Sneaking away while the wife is at work for some "discreet sex' is the complete opposite of what swinging is about. Doing this will catch up and it exposes the Lifestyle to unsavory light.

There is no reason to lie about anything, even if you are married some couples still play with married men, we are all adults here and free to choose.

Good Manners and social skills are more important here than anywhere else.

Dress to impress…Because isn't that what you do on a date….Well then you are on a Date here as well! You're looking to be intimate, so take the extra time and care in your daily hygiene routine this means.

  • Dental Hygiene
  • Shaving and/or grooming, above as well as below
  • Brush or comb your hair
  • put on cologne and use deodorant
  • Taking extra care in picking out the right things to wear (you're not in high school, at the gym or working in the yard). So dress up, people will notice. You only get one chance to make a first impression SO JUST DO IT

Sorry if this seems like common sense, but to some it is not. Never assume that because you dance or talk to someone that they want to have sex with you. Don't get too aggressive on the dance floor, at the bar area, etc. unless you get a clear message that it's OK. If you get that message, then go with it, just don't go overboard. You should even ask her, "Is this Okay?"

Always introduce yourself to both parties, never wait till he leaves to go get a drink then sneak in, or wait to ambush her at the ladies room. This is a very, very bad tactic and could get you into a confrontation with the male half.

If you want a 100% sure thing then go to a whorehouse or call an escort. This is a social club and the ladies are upscale wives and girlfriends and above all, they are LADIES, not escorts. Treat them like ladies!